


Fusion

by Ralkana



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Alien Technology, Alternate Reality, Babysitting, Challenge Response, Deathbed, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Identity Issues, Illness, Transporter Accident
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-10-10
Updated: 2002-10-10
Packaged: 2017-10-29 04:47:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/315979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ralkana/pseuds/Ralkana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A transporter accident gives Kathryn a different perspective on things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fusion

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer ~ I don't own them; Paramount does. If I owned them, I'm pretty sure they'd have been much, much happier.
> 
> Timeline ~ Set around the middle or end of season four. When Naomi was still small and cute and cuddly.

 

Captain Janeway looked up from the replicator as the door to the ready room chimed.

"Come," she called, picking up the cup of coffee that materialized and cradling it in her hands.

Her first officer stepped in, padd in hand.

"Captain," he greeted her, with a quick nod of his head. He extended the padd toward her. "Here's the latest report on the shuttle inspection and debris analysis."

Taking the padd, she glanced at him, waiting for elaboration. He shook his head grimly, and she sighed.

"Still nothing," he said softly.

Raising a hand to her temple, she rubbed vigorously in a futile attempt to dispel the vicious ache lodged there. "How are Ensign Donnelly, Neelix, and Sam?"

"Well, Donnelly was treated for minor burns and injuries and released. The Doctor says Neelix and Sam should both be fine, but he's keeping them sedated for the time being. He thinks they'll heal faster that way."

She nodded and thanked him for the report, returning her attention to the mountains of information before her. Several minutes passed before she realized that she hadn't heard the sound of the door, and she looked up to find Chakotay still standing at parade rest, watching her.

"Commander?"

His lips quirked in a tiny smile as he seated himself in the chair before her desk. "When's the last time you ate anything, Kathryn?"

She rolled her eyes. "Chakotay, I don't have time -- " Her protestations were cut off when her stomach rumbled loudly. Shooting him a tired smile, she gave in.

"All right, Commander, you win. I'll have Ne -- " she stopped abruptly, her face creasing in pain. "I'll have the mess hall send something up. Join me?"

He grinned briefly. "As appealing as sharing mess hall leftovers with you sounds, I had something else in mind." He glanced down at his folded hands, and then back up at her, his dark eyes serious.

"Naomi's pretty shaken up."

"Not surprising. Thank God she's okay, Chakotay."

"I think lunch with her captain down on Cinbarra might help take her mind off Sam and Neelix for a little while."

She frowned at him. "I can't just -- "

"An hour or two, Kathryn. That's all. You could use the break, and you can't do anything until B'Elanna finishes her inspections anyway. And I really do think it will make Naomi feel a little bit better. I'll take care of things up here."

Kathryn sighed and eventually smiled. "All right."

"Good. I'll -- "

"On one condition."

Chakotay eyed her warily. "What?"

"You come with us."

"Kathryn, what about -- "

"Tuvok can take care of things up here, and besides, I'm willing to bet you haven't eaten anything either. Naomi's very comfortable with you; in fact, I'd say she's more than comfortable with you. I think you have an admirer, Chakotay." She grinned as the tips of his ears flushed.

"Naomi's too young to have crushes," he said quickly, and Kathryn chuckled.

"That's what you think. So will you join us for lunch, Commander?"

"I really don't know if that's a good idea, Kathryn."

"Nothing will go wrong."

His face darkened. "I'm sure that's what Sam and Neelix thought."

"Well, we're beaming down, not taking a shuttle," she said without thinking, and his frown grew. She sighed, hating the look of pain and guilt on his face. "It's not your fault, Chakotay."

He looked away. "I'm the one that told them they should take the damn shuttle."

"And your reasoning was sound. Naomi sees planets from orbit and from the surface, but she rarely gets to see them from above in a shuttle, and that _is_ a beautiful sight. Besides, it was a nice break for Sam and Neelix." He winced, and she sighed again. "Okay, that was a bad choice of words. But Naomi loved it. When Donnelly checked in right before takeoff, I could hear Naomi giggling in the background. Don't beat yourself up over this, all right? It was an accident, Chakotay. It's not your fault."

He nodded grudgingly and closed his eyes. "Thank the spirits the guidance systems failed while they were still relatively close to the ground. It could have been so much worse." He looked at her, anger and confusion in his features. "What the hell happened, Kathryn?"

"I don't know, but we'll figure it out. After lunch. Come on, let's go. You go get Naomi, and I'll placate Tuvok. I'll meet you in the transporter room in ten minutes."

He sighed as he pulled himself up out of the chair, following her to the door. "Just wait until I get in the turbolift before you tell Tuvok, okay? I don't want the blame for this one, nor do I want to be caught in the crossfire," he finished, and she turned to smile wickedly at him just as the doors to the bridge slid open.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

Twenty minutes found the three of them seated at an outdoor table in the restaurant district of Cinbarra's capital city. Kathryn watched fondly but surreptitiously as Chakotay cut Naomi's food into small, manageable pieces. The little girl was subdued, quite a change from her normally bubbly and outgoing personality. As their meal continued, however, she began to respond to them, smiling more openly.

They were finishing up their main course when Chakotay's combadge interrupted a seemingly endless narrative of Naomi's latest holodeck adventure.

"Commander Chakotay, the time is now 1300 hours."

Chakotay looked confused. "I don't remember setting a reminder for anything. Computer, what is Commander Chakotay's schedule for 1300 hours today?"

"Commander Chakotay has nothing scheduled for 1300 hours today." Now Chakotay looked even more mystified.

"Computer, what is the next appointment on Commander Chakotay's schedule?"

"Commander Chakotay has scheduled a meeting with Crewman Rodriguez at 1315 hours today." Chakotay's eyes widened, and he nodded his head.

"Forgot about that one. Well, ladies, it looks as if I must depart. Stay and enjoy your meal," he said as he stood and deposited his napkin on the table. "Have something yummy for dessert," he added, bending to press a kiss to the top on Naomi's head.

"Do you hafta go?"

He smiled. "Yes, Naomi, I have to go. Somebody needs to talk to me. But I promise I'll come by tonight to tell you a story, okay?"

Naomi pouted, her lower lip trembling dangerously, and he bent down again, speaking close to her ear.

"Hey, no sulking, little one. You're going to make the captain feel bad," he murmured. "You don't want to do that, do you?" The little girl shook her head, finally smiling.

"Bye, Commander!"

He grinned at her, and then at Kathryn. "Bye, Naomi. Captain," he finished with a quick nod before turning and heading for the beamout site. Both of his lunch companions watched him go.

"Well, Naomi, should we see what they have for dessert?"

Naomi nodded and leaned toward Kathryn. "The commander's pretty," she whispered, and Kathryn chuckled.

"Handsome, Naomi. Men are handsome. And yes, the commander is very handsome."

"He tells good stories, too."

Kathryn smiled wistfully. "Yes, he does."

Naomi's face grew troubled. "I told my mommy once that I wished Commander Chakotay was my daddy and she got kinda mad at me. She said I already have a daddy. Captain, is my mommy going to get better?"

She looked tearfully at Kathryn, and Kathryn felt her own eyes fill. She scooted her chair closer and wrapped an arm around the little girl.

"Yes, Naomi. The Doctor will do everything he can to make sure your mommy gets better, okay?"

Naomi nodded after a minute, and Kathryn said, "Do you want dessert, or do you want to go back to Voyager?"

"I want ice cream, please."

Kathryn grinned. "Well, we'll see if they have anything like that here, okay?" she asked, beckoning to the server.

She did her best to explain ice cream to the woman, and they were gleefully sharing a bowl of something bright green that tasted remarkably like chocolate ice cream, when her combadge chirped.

"Janeway here."

"Captain, it's B'Elanna. I think we've figured out what happened to the shuttle."

Janeway's head snapped up. "I'm down on the planet with Naomi, Lieutenant. We'll be right up, and I'll head to Engineering as soon as I drop her off at Ensign Gil's. Please inform Commander Chakotay and ask him to meet me in Engineering."

"Aye, Captain. Torres out."

Janeway stood, holding out her hand to Naomi. "Come on, Naomi, we have to go back to the ship now."

Having been raised on Voyager, Naomi knew how to respond to Janeway's serious tone. She took one last bite of her dessert and stood quickly, still swallowing.

"Yes, ma'am."

Kathryn smiled. "I promise I'll come visit you tonight and we can finish our conversation, and I'll stay while Commander Chakotay tells you that story he promised you, okay?" she asked, and the little girl nodded happily as they headed for the transport site.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

"Torres to Chakotay."

"Chakotay here. B'Elanna, I'm in the middle of -- "

"Sorry for interrupting, sir. The captain asked me to inform you that we believe we know what happened to the shuttle, and she asked that you meet her in Engineering."

"Thanks, B'Elanna. Be right there. Chakotay out." He looked apologetically at Crewman Rodriguez. "I'm sorry, Crewman -- "

The young man smiled. "It's all right, sir. Thank you for talking with me. It's helped quite a lot, I think."

"You're welcome. Please don't hesitate to stop by again if you'd like to talk," he said as they headed for the door of his office. They parted ways, and Chakotay decided to stop at the bridge before heading to Engineering, reasoning that Kathryn would have to drop Naomi off before she could make her way there. She'd appreciate a quick shipwide status report, so he'd give her one.

Tuvok turned toward him as Chakotay stepped onto the bridge. "Commander. All systems are functioning within normal parameters, although there have been some unusual fluctuations within the power grid in the last fifteen minutes. The captain and Naomi Wildman should be beaming up momentarily -- "

"Commander!" Harry called urgently, but before he could say anything more, there was the telltale beep of intraship communications.

"Transporter Room One to Bridge," said a nervous voice, and the bridge crew could hear a child wailing in the background. "There's been an accident. I think somebody better come down here."

Chakotay felt the blood drain from his face. "What kind of accident?"

"Well, I don't -- uh, that is..."

"Spill it, Lieutenant!"

"Um, do you remember Tuvix, sir?"

Everyone on the bridge stiffened. Tuvix was never discussed because of the divisions the situation had caused among the crew. For Anderson to bring it up now meant that the situation was extremely serious

"I'll be right there. Bridge out. Bridge to Sickbay."

"Astrometrics here."

Chakotay looked at Harry, confused. Harry just shrugged and shook his head, punching at his board.

"Sorry, Lieutenant, Bridge out."

"Torres to Chakotay."

"Chakotay here. What's going on, B'Elanna? There's been -- "

"I know. Transporter Room One just called me. I'm on my way with a team."

"I just tried to call Sick -- "

"Try calling the Doctor personally. Location to location communications are down, but person to person seems to be working."

"Are the lifts working?"

"Haven't had any calls."

"Thanks, B'Elanna, Chakotay out. Chakotay to the Doctor."

"Doctor here."

Once the Doctor had responded, Chakotay nodded to Tuvok and headed for the turbolift. "Transporter Room One," he ordered, and the lift beeped accommodatingly and began moving. "Doctor, get down to Transporter Room One with a medkit. There's been an accident."

"What kind -- "

"I don't know. I'm on my way there now. If you need to call me or anyone else, call person to person, understood?"

"Yes, Doctor out."

Chakotay paced the turbolift, trying to quell his rising panic. When the lift doors opened, he forced himself not to sprint down the corridor. He entered the transporter room to find the lieutenant who had called the bridge kneeling on the pads, trying to soothe the wailing child who stood there. Chakotay stopped dead, staring at her.

She was bigger than Naomi, but not by much, with the same little set of horns on her forehead. Her hair was darker, more auburn, but shorter than Naomi's, and her complexion was slightly darker. She had horns -- like those on her forehead -- on the backs of each of her hands. The pink dress Naomi had worn down to Cinbarra now looked like a patchwork quilt, with sections of black, command red, and Starfleet gray. But it was her eyes that froze Chakotay to the spot. They were dark blue, wide, and awash with tears. _Kathryn's eyes_ , he thought vaguely.

"Commander!" she wailed, and her voice was deeper than Naomi's, while still obviously the voice of a child. "I don't feel good... I want my mommy!"

He approached them cautiously. "Naomi?"

"Yes... I want my mommy!"

He came forward and picked her up, ignoring the spike of dread that knotted his stomach. _If Naomi's here, where's Kathryn?_

"Shh, shh. It's okay, little one, we'll figure out what happened. Don't cry," he murmured, rocking her. He half turned as the Doctor stepped in and immediately came forward, scanner in hand.

She was crying noisily into his neck, soaking his turtleneck, and he winced as her horns dug into his flesh. He bounced her gently and murmured soothingly to her, trying to drown out the beeping of the scanner. She gradually quieted as he looked questioningly at the Doctor. Before the physician could reply, B'Elanna and her team entered. They took one look at Chakotay, and B'Elanna nodded and ordered them quietly toward the panels at the back of the room.

"I can detect -- " the Doctor began, and Chakotay winced and motioned for him to lower his voice. He sighed and started again. "I can detect the genetic patterns of both the captain and Naomi. Her anatomy seems to be stable for the time being, but we should get her to Sickbay so that I can run more detailed scans."

"What about the fact that this is obviously Naomi? Is K -- the Captain's... consciousness in there somewhere?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "The human consciousness is difficult to detect in a medical scan, especially a field scan. I can tell you that there's brain activity, but I don't need a scan to tell you that. As I said before, we should get her to Sickbay so that I can study her in more detail, and that includes running an in-depth neurological scan."

Chakotay nodded and looked toward B'Elanna, but before he could say anything, he felt the girl stir in his arms.

"Chakotay?" she asked weakly, and he could see confusion in her eyes as she raised her head to look at him. "What's -- why are you holding me? Put me down," she ordered, and she began struggling. Afraid that he'd drop her, he placed her gently on her feet. She looked up at him. And then further up. He saw her eyes widen with fear as she stared at him and then down at herself. Her head whipped toward Lieutenant Anderson, who'd been standing mutely beside Chakotay the whole time.

"What the hell happened?" she snapped, and everyone blinked at the sound of the oath issued in the child's voice.

"We're trying to figure that out, Captain," Chakotay said calmingly, trying to hide his relief at Kathryn's appearance.

"Dammit, Chakotay, don't placate me!" she answered hotly, and then, realizing how shrill she sounded, she sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I'm sorry. What happened?"

"Captain, we need to get you to sickbay so that we can determine that," the Doctor said, and B'Elanna joined them, barking orders over her shoulder at her team.

"It's connected to what happened to the shuttle, Captain. It's affecting other systems on the ship as well -- "

"Can we make this a mobile briefing?" the Doctor asked impatiently.

Kathryn rolled her eyes and strode forward, leaving them all kneeling on the transporter pads. They hurried to catch up with her.

"So, what is it, B'Elanna?" she asked over her shoulder.

"Essentially, it's foreign software that's acting almost like a virus in our computer systems. It seems to have come from the star charts and mapping programs the Cinbari gave us a few days ago. Harry scanned the files and programs and they checked out okay, but apparently they contain a hidden self-diagnostic program. When they accessed Voyager's computer -- and the one on the shuttle -- and found no ‘previous diagnostic' date, the programs began running themselves, deleting key data from our computer."

The Doctor, Chakotay, and B'Elanna had to keep slowing down, stopping, and backing up to keep pace with the captain. Finally, she sighed and planted her hands on her hips.

"Chakotay."

"Yes, Captain?"

"This is ridiculous. Just pick me up."

He raised an eyebrow and B'Elanna's eyes widened. "Captain?"

"Just pick me up and carry me. Otherwise we'll never get to Sickbay. Now I know why Naomi's always out of breath! She has to run to keep up with you people!"

Chakotay stifled a grin as he swung her up into his arms and settled her on one hip. She regally motioned for them to continue walking, and they all chuckled.

"Now, Lieutenant, how do we fix this?"

B'Elanna grimaced. "Well, the main problem is that the first systems this software accessed are our own diagnostic systems. It practically destroyed them, and we're having to work from the back-up programs, as well as trying to remember any recent modifications we've made. Without the diagnostics, we can't tell what other systems have been affected, let alone what system components have been affected. We can fix it; it will just take time," she finished as they reached Sickbay.

"What systems do we know for certain have been affected?" Kathryn asked as Chakotay settled her on a biobed. The Doctor disappeared momentarily, gathering equipment for his scans.

"Well, the diagnostic systems, and obviously, the transporters," B'Elanna said, gesturing at Kathryn. "Also, the location to location intraship communications, and the aft external sensors. Environmental controls are malfunctioning in the cargo bays, the sonic showers aren't working on Deck Four, and there's no artificial gravity on Deck Ten."

"That seems pretty random," Chakotay said, and B'Elanna nodded.

"Part of the problem is that we have no idea why this program is accessing the systems it is, so we don't know where it will strike next. Harry's working on a counter program, and we've tried hailing the Cinbari to ask if they might be able to help, but it seems that the main universal translator is affected as well. They can't understand us, and we can't understand them."

Kathryn sighed as the Doctor returned. "All right, B'Elanna, thank you for the report. I know you're probably chomping at the bit to get back to work."

"Yes, ma'am." She smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, Captain. We'll get this whole mess straightened out soon."

"Thanks, B'Elanna. Dismissed."

The engineer nodded and moved through the Sickbay doors just as the Doctor hefted his first instrument.

"I'd better get to the Bridge. I'll leave you in Doc's capable hands," Chakotay said with a smile, and though he missed the flash of fear in her eyes, the Doctor saw it.

"I believe it would be beneficial for both patients if you remain, Commander," he said evenly. He pressed an instrument to the girl's neck. "I'm going to have to take some blood and tissue samples, Captain. It might be a bit uncomfortable."

She tensed. "You mean it's going to hurt like a bitch," she muttered, and Chakotay chuckled.

"Language, Captain," he said smoothly. "A girl your age shouldn't know those words."

She glared at him, and he saw her eyes widen as the Doctor began taking his samples. Her hand unconsciously reached for his and squeezed it, and he bit his lip. For a little girl, she had quite a grip. Never taking his eyes off of hers, he silently sent her strength. He watched as her eyes narrowed in pain, went disturbingly blank, and then filled with tears and spilled over.

"Ow! Ow, Doctor, that hurts! Stop!" she whimpered, and Chakotay's throat tightened.

"Naomi?"

She nodded, still whimpering. "Ow! Make him stop, Commander, please!" she wailed, starting to squirm.

"Commander," the Doctor ordered tightly, and Chakotay took a deep breath. Cursing himself, he held her still while the Doctor continued his work. She yelped and bucked, struggling against him and pleading with him.

"Doctor?" he asked through gritted teeth, and the physician frowned.

"Almost done... there," he said, and Chakotay let her go. She collapsed against him, sobbing, and he reached up to wipe the tears off his own cheeks. The Doctor whisked off to the lab, leaving Chakotay alone with a crying child.

"I'm sorry, Naomi. I know that hurt, but it's over now. Shh... shh, don't cry, little one, it's okay."

He rubbed her back, and gradually her trembling lessened. She looked up at him with tearful eyes, and his breath caught in his throat. It was bad enough to see a child in distress, but this child had Kathryn's eyes, and that was almost more than he could handle. He took a deep breath, trying to center himself. _How the hell do I explain this to her?_

"Naomi, do you know how the transporter works?" he asked, and she nodded wearily.

"It breaks us up into little pieces and then puts us back together again somewhere else," she said shakily. He smiled briefly.

"Yes, that's right. Do you remember beaming up with the captain after lunch?" he asked, and when she nodded, he continued. "Well, when the transporter put you back together again, it made a mistake and it mixed the pieces of you and the pieces of the captain together, and we're trying to fix it so that we get you both back. For now, though, you're both in _this_ body," he said, tickling her briefly. She giggled, and he smiled, relieved that she was over the trauma of the last few minutes. "It looks kind of like you and kind of like the captain. Do you understand?"

The little girl stared down at herself in awe, noticing the changes for the first time. "Yes, sir... but how come I have these horns on my hands? The captain doesn't have those... and if I'm me and the captain, how come I'm not bigger?" she asked, and Chakotay chuckled. Now that the scary part was over, she was back to her normal self, bright and inquisitive.

"We don't know yet," he said as the Doctor returned and tried to press a hypospray to her neck. She flinched and hid her face in Chakotay's chest, and the Doctor looked at him with pain in his eyes.

"Don't worry, Naomi, this won't hurt," the hologram said soothingly. "It's just something to help you sleep for a while." He pressed the hypo to her neck and she sighed and relaxed almost instantly. "It was a light sedative," he murmured to Chakotay. "I don't know how long it will last, given her modified physiology. Why don't you settle her here and then join me in my office, and I'll tell you what I've found?"

Chakotay nodded and tried to settle the child onto the biobed, only to find that even in her sleep she was clutching the front of his uniform tightly with both hands. Unwilling to try and pry them loose and leave her here where she might wake up alone and scared, he simply shrugged, picked her up, and carried her into the Doctor's office. At the Doctor's questioning glance, he murmured, "She wouldn't let go." The Doctor nodded and launched into his report.

"As I said before, her body contains a mixture of Naomi's genetic material and the captain's genetic material; I have no idea how that mish-mash of organs is functioning, but everything seems to be working properly. Actually, it's just as mysterious as the survival of cross-species children; however, in those cases -- "

"Doctor!"

The Doctor blinked and cleared his throat. "Sorry, Commander. As I said, she appears to be healthy, for now. The accident seems to have brought out some of Naomi's Ktarian features; hence, the horns on the backs of her hands, although those are the only outward manifestation."

"But... if she's only half-Ktarian, and the captain's fully human, wouldn't the girl's Ktarian features be _less_ prominent?"

"As I said, it's impossible to tell what mixing the genetic structure of two species will do. I'm going to want to observe her daily for as long as this situation continues, but physically, she is fine right now."

"This situation won't continue for long, Doctor."

"Nevertheless, she needs daily check-ups. As for which consciousness is in ascendance, I don't believe we've observed enough to say which individual will be more prominent, and I could find nothing unusual in the neurological scan that would tell me that something is different in this individual's brain. However, from what we _have_ seen, I would say that it's likely that Naomi will appear in stressful or crisis situations."

Chakotay rubbed a hand over his face. "Great. Not only do we have to deal with an individual suddenly switching personalities, we have to deal with a distressed child in already difficult situations. Recommendations, Doctor?"

"I'd say let her sleep as much as she'd like, keep the routine as normal as possible for Naomi's sake, and get this situation sorted out as soon as possible." When Chakotay glared at him, he added, "Oh, and when the captain appears, perhaps you could remind her that this is a child's body. Thus, it needs to sleep and eat regularly, and it should not be poisoned with coffee."

"All right, Doctor. I'll take her home now... I'll notify the caregiving rota of the situation and let them know what to expect... are there any special instructions I should pass along?"

"Well, Naomi might be disoriented and slightly more difficult to care for while this situation continues. As for the captain, I'd say let her read reports or do work from her quarters... for obvious reasons, she will be taken off active duty until the situation has been resolved. She shouldn't be left alone at any time, and if the patient shows any signs at all of discomfort or mentions any strange sensations, she should be brought to Sickbay immediately."

When it was clear that the Doctor was finished, Chakotay thanked him and left Sickbay. He stood in the turbolift, unsure of what destination to give it. Should he take her to the Wildmans' quarters, the captain's quarters, or his quarters? Where would she be most comfortable and least disoriented?

There was movement in his arms, and he glanced down to find her staring fuzzily up at him. Unsure of who he was holding, he simply smiled and said, "Hello."

"Chakotay? Where are we?"

"Hi, Kathryn... we're in the turbolift. In fact, you woke up just in time to answer a question for me. Where do you want me to take you? Naomi's quarters, your quarters, or my quarters?"

"The bridge."

"That wasn't one of the options."

She began to wriggle, and against his better judgment, he put her down. She swayed immediately and clutched his trouser leg for support. Without a word, he picked her back up again, and she smiled sheepishly at him.

"I think you're better off up here for the time being. And as you can see, you're not in any shape to be terrorizing ensigns on the bridge."

"I need to know the status of my ship, Commander."

"I realize that. The Doctor has taken you off active duty, and for good reason; you really aren't up to it, Captain." She glared at him, and he couldn't help but smile. "No pun intended. He suggested you read your reports and do your work from your quarters."

"Then why are we standing here?"

Chakotay sighed and ordered the lift to their deck, and she settled into his arms for the ride. He tried to keep from telling himself that she seemed comfortable in his arms by reminding himself that this wasn't really her. It didn't work very well.

Once they reached her quarters, he set her down next to her desk and she immediately pulled herself into the desk chair and switched on the console. It flickered alarmingly a time or two before activating properly, and he grinned as she muttered something under her breath. Rubbing the back of his neck as he watched her, Chakotay tried to think of the caregiving rota.

"I'm going to get up to the bridge, Kathryn. I'll call someone down to stay with you."

She turned to him, eyes wide. "I don't need a baby-sitter, Chakotay."

He sighed. "Kathryn, you seem to keep forgetting that you're not yourself lately. The Doctor recommended that someone stay with you at all times. Besides, you might not need a baby-sitter, but Naomi does. If she returns, she'll most likely be frightened and disoriented, and she can't be left alone."

Kathryn nodded grudgingly and he gave her a grateful, if tired, smile. She listened half-attentively as he contacted several crewmen to find out who was next in Naomi's caregiving rota. Her interest grew as she noticed how efficiently the program was set up; each crewmember in the rota knew the person who came next, and finding a caregiver was accomplished with a minimum of fuss.

When a young crewman entered her quarters a few moments later, she smiled briefly at him and said hello. She went back to her work, not bothering to listen as Chakotay quickly outlined the situation for him, though she did look up at his startled sound of surprise. He was looking warily at her, and she smiled reassuringly and returned her attention to her console, determined to do everything she could to repair her ship and get herself and Naomi back into their respective bodies.

Chakotay smiled as he watched how determinedly Kathryn was glaring at her console. He told her he was leaving and got a nearly unintelligible murmur of response. He barely restrained himself from planting a kiss on her forehead as he left her quarters, wondering where that impulse had come from.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

Chakotay was heading back to his quarters for a quick shower before checking in on Kathryn when his combadge chirped.

"Kennedy to Chakotay," came a harassed sounding voice.

"Chakotay here."

"Sir... Naomi's crying for you. She says you promised her a story. I've tried everything, but she won't calm down. I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I thought maybe if you told her you'd be by later... I don't know what to do, sir; she's not usually like this."

"It's okay, Crewman. The Doctor said she might be out of sorts, and really, do you blame her?" he asked with a chuckle. "I'll be right there."

"Thank you, sir."

Sighing, he pushed the idea of a relaxing shower further back on his schedule. He rang for entry at the captain's quarters, and when the doors opened, he was almost bowled over as something small and multi-colored shot toward him.

"You promised me a story!"

"I'm sorry, Naomi. I was on the bridge. You know how important that is, and since the captain isn't there right now -- "

"I don't believe you! I don't believe the captain is mixed up with me! I think you're lying!"

He knelt down so that he was at eye-level with her, taking her chin in his hand and forcing her to look in his eyes.

"Naomi, have I ever lied to you?"

Her lower lip trembled as her tears spilled over. "I want my mommy!"

"Naomi, your mommy's sleeping -- "

"Wake her up!"

"We can't wake her up, honey; she's hurt, and she has to sleep so she'll get better. I know you're scared, sweetheart, but everything will be okay. We'll get this all straightened out and everything will be fine. Okay?"

Sobbing, she threw herself into his arms, knocking him flat on his butt, and he held her close to him, rubbing her back and smiling sadly into her hair. He looked up to find Crewman Kennedy watching the proceedings nervously.

"Thanks, Crewman. Dismissed."

The young man nodded and quickly departed, leaving Chakotay to wonder just how difficult Naomi had been. Kennedy must have been at his wits' end before calling Chakotay to come to his rescue. He stood with the girl in his arms and took her into Kathryn's bedroom, grabbing a padd off the stack on her desk so that he could write his report for when Kathryn returned.

He glanced at his environment briefly, trying to ignore the pain that came from the idea that he was in her bedroom without her permission or invitation. Settling on the bed with his back against the headboard, he rocked Naomi and tried to compose his report in his head.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

Kathryn awoke gradually, aware of being warm and feeling secure. The details of the last day came swiftly back to her and she groaned softly. Looking up, she saw that she was being cradled in Chakotay's arms as he leaned against her headboard. On the bed beside his outstretched hand was an active padd that looked as if it held the beginnings of a status report.

She pulled away from him slightly to get a better look at him. He was peaceful in his sleep, head resting on the bulkhead, breathing deep and even. Her hand moved unbidden to stroke a finger along his cheek, and she held her breath, but he didn't stir. _He must be exhausted._ Stretching up, she placed a kiss on the underside of his jaw, lips tingling as they softly brushed over the smooth skin. When he still made no movement, she smiled and snuggled back into his arms. Nestling her forehead into his neck, she breathed in his scent, sighing as he winced and groaned softly, his outstretched arm coming up to hold her to him. He opened his eyes and blinked sleepily at her.

"Sorry, Chakotay," she whispered, remembering that it was her use of his name that let him know it was her and not Naomi. "I forgot about the horns."

"It's okay. How are you? Feeling okay?"

"I'm fine. Why is it that every time I wake up, I'm in your arms?" She grinned as the tips of his ears flushed.

"I... it's... it seems to calm Naomi down."

"I can certainly understand that... it's very comforting."

His look of surprise made her smile again, but it was nothing compared to his expression when she reached up to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you, Chakotay. For taking such good care of me, and of Naomi. But you should go get some sleep."

He grinned. "I _was_ sleeping, until somebody woke me up!"

She glared at him, and his grin turned affectionate.

"Well, Kathryn, that body sure hasn't affected your ability to glare, that's for sure."

His smile faded as her face fell.

"How much longer is it going to take?"

He sighed. "I really don't know, Kathryn. B'Elanna's supposed to stop by to give me a report later tonight. I'll let you know what she says. For now, though, you should probably try and get some sleep. Are you hungry?"

"No," she yawned, "but thanks for asking. Will you answer a couple of questions for me?"

He looked surprised. "Sure."

"It seemed pretty easy to locate a baby-sitter for Naomi earlier."

"The rota works well."

"How many of the crew are in on it?"

"About thirty, I think. I'm not a part of the normal active rotation, but I take a shift here and there. I like spending time with Naomi."

"That seems like a lot of people willing to give up their off-duty time for baby-sitting."

"I'm not the only one who likes spending time with her."

"How does it work in crisis situations? Red alerts?"

"Well, if Sam's on duty or needed at her station, whoever is next watches Naomi until the crisis is over. If for some reason they're not available, they call whoever's after them. There's never been a problem, that I've heard of."

"She's very well taken care of. I knew that she was, I just didn't know the details."

He smiled, somewhat wistfully. "Naomi's a very important part of this crew. Perhaps the most important. Nothing's going to happen to her." When she grinned wryly, he sighed. "Well, nothing more!"

"Who organized the rota?"

"Sam and I did, making sure there are always several people who are off duty and available, and I keep it in mind when I'm organizing the duty rosters. Why all the questions, Kathryn?"

"I... just wondering. Have I ever told you that you are the most remarkable first officer I've ever known?"

He chuckled. "Not in quite those words. Thank you, Captain, that means a great deal to me."

Her next words were interrupted by a yawn. "I don't know why I'm so tired! I haven't done anything all day!"

"That body's young, and I'm sure it's exhausting dealing with both you and Naomi. And the Doc did say he's not sure why everything's working. My respectful suggestion, Captain, is that you sleep and eat when you feel like it."

She rolled her eyes at his playfully formal tone. "I suppose coffee's out of the question?"

He grinned as he stood and gently placed her back on the bed, and Kathryn felt a pang at the loss of contact. He reached down to pull the blankets over her, tucking them around her, and she wondered briefly if he knew what he was doing or if the actions were automatic.

"Get some sleep," he murmured. "I'll be right in the other room if you need anything."

She longed to ask him to stay, but she stopped herself before the words could form. She snuggled down into the blankets, but she was suddenly cold.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

The sound of the door chime brought her out of a restless slumber. She yawned and stretched, bringing one hand to her stomach to massage at the strange twinge she felt there. She reasoned that she hadn't eaten, and that this was probably what hunger felt like in this strange assortment of organs that was her temporary home. Lying back, she guiltlessly eavesdropped as B'Elanna reported her progress to Chakotay. Her ears perked up when her chief engineer mentioned the transporter systems.

"We should have it completely figured out by midmorning."

"How sure are you that it will work to separate them, B'Ela?"

Kathryn could practically hear B'Elanna shrug. "I couldn't tell you exact numbers. If everything works right, it should separate them. This isn't exactly a standard use of the transporter, Chakotay!"

Kathryn disentangled herself from the covers and padded toward them. She was about to join them when B'Elanna's tone changed.

"How are you doing, old man?"

Chakotay sighed, and the sound tugged at Kathryn's heart. She stood in the doorway, looking on as the two friends sat with their backs to her. She was reminded strongly of the times she had sneaked out of bed as a child. She had stood at the top of the stairs, enjoying the forbidden rush of listening to her parents as they conversed quietly in low and serious voices.

"I... it's hard," Chakotay murmured.

"I know you care for her," B'Elanna said, resting a hand on his shoulder, and Kathryn swallowed hard to dislodge the lump in her throat. "Hell, I know you care for _both_ of them. We'll get them back, Chakotay."

"I know... I know we will... but B'Ela..." He ducked his head briefly. "You know... you know how I feel about children, and I know I've told you -- probably many more times than you've wanted to hear -- about my dreams... and this... it's like living a little piece of them. Believe me; I want them separated, really I do, but caring for her, and taking care of her, even in just this little while... she has Kathryn's eyes, B'Ela. Every time I look in those eyes, it's almost like seeing the daughter I've dreamt of."

B'Elanna said nothing, and he went on, the longing in his voice painfully clear.

"I know she'll get us home. You of all people know that I put all my faith in her. But when, B'Elanna? When I'm too old to enjoy a family? When I'm -- ah, hell, listen to me. I don't even know if she wants that. I don't even know if she wants me."

"She wants you, Chakotay. She loves you," B'Elanna said firmly, and Kathryn had to hang on to the doorjamb to keep from rushing out and crying, _Yes! I do!_

"I wish I was as sure of that as you are." He looked directly at B'Elanna, and his voice was suddenly deadly serious. "You are so lucky, B'Elanna. You have everything I've dreamt of, right in the palm of your hand. A loving partner, a chance for marriage and children in a community that will love your family almost as much as you do -- "

B'Elanna laughed, quietly but harshly. "Hold on, old man! I can't even get Tom to agree to what we're doing weekend after next, let alone talk to him about marriage and kids!"

"Yes, but you have the option. You have so much, don't ever let it go."

There was silence for a moment, and then B'Elanna ventured, "Chakotay..."

"Hmm?"

"You... don't hate me for asking this, but if it's a family you want... she's not... I mean..." She sighed. "Have you ever thought of trying to move on, trying for those dreams with someone else?"

Chakotay didn't answer, and with every second of silence, Kathryn's heart leapt faster and faster. Now she was hanging onto the doorjamb for strength.

"Yes," he said finally, and Kathryn crammed a fist in her mouth to keep quiet. "I have... I get so lonely sometimes, but... it wouldn't be the family I dream of. My children wouldn't have the faces I've seen, the laughing voices I've heard... they wouldn't have her eyes, B'Ela, and that's what I want. I want her. Only her."

B'Elanna hugged him briefly. "I _am_ sorry, Chakotay. I wish I could change things for you. You deserve happiness."

Chakotay silently hugged her back, and Kathryn, too stunned to think properly, stumbled back to her bed. She had never heard the extent of his feelings for her before; he had hidden them so carefully. In fact, she thought he had been unable to hide them -- they had seemed so open to her -- but the longing and the loneliness the she could sense in just the tone of his voice told her that he had hidden his love far better than she had ever realized.

She nearly cried with relief that he was still waiting for her. But how long would he? How long could he wait? How long would his love and his devotion stand up, how long could they battle against his loneliness? How long would he wait for the family it was so obvious that he desperately wanted? With a sinking feeling, she rubbed at her temple as another question formed. How long could she make him wait for what she wanted so much too?

All of the questions and thoughts were shoved out of her head when the strange twinge in her stomach became a full-blown pain. Her breath was driven from her lungs by the searing agony of it, and she couldn't even cry out as she clutched her stomach. The pain was sustained, and she fought to get her breath back.

"Chakotay!" she cried, hearing the strangled sound of her voice, and she could vaguely make out the sound of pounding footsteps.

"What's wrong, Kathryn?"

"I..." That was all she could get out, and she felt the strange tingling sensation she was becoming familiar with, the dimming of her vision that told her this body was getting ready to switch consciousnesses. She shook her head frantically, knowing that there was no way Naomi would be able to tell him what was wrong.

"Sharp pain... abdomen... oh, God!" she ground out, and then there was nothing.

Chakotay anxiously picked up the small, limp body and turned to B'Elanna who was waiting in the doorway. Before he could say anything, the little girl stiffened and yelped.

"Ow! Wh -- my tummy hurts! Bad!"

"Hold on, Naomi, we'll get you to Sickbay."

He opened his mouth to call for emergency transport, swearing loudly when he realized that wasn't an option. He ran past B'Elanna toward the door of Kathryn's quarters, cradling the moaning child in his arms.

"Get the transporters fixed, Torres. Now. That's an order. I'll be in Sickbay."

Chakotay ran through the corridors, not caring who saw his panic. A sick child was more than cause enough for it. He tried to call the Doctor, but the physician cut him off, informing him that B'Elanna had already called him. He hurtled through the doors of Sickbay just as Naomi passed out, placing her gently on a waiting biobed as he panted to return his breathing to normal. With a curt gesture, the Doc told him to wait in the office.

He paced the small confines of the office, trying not to look at the small body being frantically worked on, but when he looked away, his gaze fell on the still forms of Sam Wildman and Neelix, and groaning, he dropped his head into his hands.

After what seemed like hours, the Doctor stepped into Chakotay's path, stopping him, and Chakotay sagged into the chair in front of the desk, his heart sinking at the physician's grim expression. On his console, Doc pulled up an image of a strange shape.

"This is the girl's Acebeld gland, which is producing a substance necessary for Ktarian digestion. This substance is reacting badly with something in the captain's genetic structure."

"But why did it just start?"

"It didn't, Commander, it's been going on since the accident, but the damage has only recently become severe enough to cause pain. I told you I didn't know how things were working in that body, and this is one of those things that only became obvious when it started causing problems."

"So what can you do? Can you remove it?"

"No. The girl wouldn't survive without it, and if they're separated, neither would Naomi."

"So what are the options?" The grim look on the Doctor's face didn't change, and Chakotay froze. "No. There has to be options."

"I'm sorry, Commander. I will do my best to find options, but unless we find something soon or get them separated, I estimate total internal organ shutdown in approximately six hours."

Chakotay smacked his combadge with a slight bit of excessive force. "Chakotay to Torres. Transporters?"

"Working on them, but it will be a few hours. Is she okay?"

"No. I want those transporters working in an hour. I don't care if you have to use every crewman on this ship. We're in orbit; they're not needed elsewhere at the moment. Get them working."

"Aye, sir. Torres out," she answered, sounding rattled.

He looked back at the Doctor. "Is she awake?"

The hologram shook his head. "No, I've sedated her. She'd be in considerable pain, so I thought it was best."

Chakotay nodded and ordered, "Find me an option, Doctor." Then, he went out and stood by the bed, gazing down at the small, still form upon it. Closing his eyes, he sent a prayer out to whoever was listening, and then he glanced across the room at Sam.

"I will get your daughter back. I promise," he whispered, dropping his head. That only served to bring his eyes back to the sight that lay before him. "Oh, Kathryn..."

He reached down to gently stroke the girl's auburn hair and ran a finger along her forehead spikes. Then, he resolutely turned and headed for the doors, calling for the doctor to call him immediately on the bridge if he found something.

Chakotay was doing lengths of the bridge, unnerving the gamma bridge crew, when the call came through from Engineering that the transporters were as ready as they were going to be. He arrived in the transporter room just as the Doctor walked in carrying his patient.

B'Elanna motioned the ensign on duty out of the way and took her place behind the console. Doc gently set the still form he carried on the pads and stepped back, medical scanner at the ready.

There was a collective intake of breath as B'Elanna muttered, "Here goes," and then the transporter shimmered and she was gone. There was a second of frozen terror, and then there was a return shimmer. Two of them. They flickered briefly and there was a brief bout of Klingon cursing, and then they solidified. Chakotay looked at them, overjoyed to see that they both appeared whole, if unconscious, and then it registered that no clothing had materialized. He turned away, tugging off his uniform jacket and handing it to the Doctor as he rushed to scan them.

His heart settled down to normal again when the Doctor declared that they both looked healthy, and he followed along at the back of the train that headed toward Sickbay. The Doctor was carrying Kathryn and B'Elanna was holding Naomi, who was wrapped tightly in the chief engineer's jacket. He felt useless and redundant all of a sudden as the Doc and Tom ran test after test on their patients and B'Elanna went back to fussing over the transporters and the other problems.

He was pacing the Doctor's office, and he had a strange sense of déjà vu when the Doctor once again stepped into his path. This time, though, the hologram was smiling, and Chakotay sighed and blinked back the tears that suddenly blurred his vision.

"They're both fine. Perfectly healthy, Commander, and they show no signs of the damage of the past few hours. Naomi is sleeping, but the captain is awake, and she wishes to speak with you. Not too long; she needs rest."

Unable to speak, Chakotay just nodded as he moved toward Naomi's biobed. He looked her over, glad to see that she looked fine, and then he brushed a kiss over her horns. Heart pounding, he stepped over to the next bed to find Kathryn gazing at him.

"Hey there," she said with a crooked grin, and he smiled.

"Welcome home."

"I know I thanked you earlier, but I didn't want you to think that was a product of The Incident, as I heard B'Elanna call it. Thank you, Chakotay."

"You're welcome, Kathryn."

Her face grew sober. "Do you know what the most terrifying moment of this whole mess was?"

He shook his head, intrigued, and his intrigue grew when she reddened.

"Well, to tell you, I'll have to make a confession. I... I heard you and B'Elanna speaking earlier, Chakotay."

He turned away, but not before she saw him flush -- whether from anger or humiliation, she didn't know.

"No," she exclaimed. "Please don't turn away from me."

"What do you want me to say? I shouldn't have spoken so openly of my feelings where you might hear them, Captain. I apologize for my lack of discretion," he said stiffly, and she closed her eyes at the pain in his voice.

"Chakotay, the most terrifying moment for me was when you told B'Elanna that you have thought of moving on. I... I don't want that. I don't want you thinking of having a family with another woman."

He whirled around, and she could see now that it was anger.

"Shh," she said, before he could retort. "She was right, you know. I do want you. I do love you. I want you to rearrange the roster to make sure that _our_ child has a baby-sitter, I want _our_ child to feel safe waking up in your arms. One thing though... our daughter has to have brown eyes, okay?" she whispered.

Chakotay was kneeling now, holding on to the side of her biobed to support himself, and she brushed at the tear that slid down his cheek. He nodded wordlessly, and she smiled in relief.

"I know that was a lot to throw at you, especially after this fiasco, but I couldn't let one more moment go by without telling you. We'll have a lot to talk about later, but for now, we both need sleep."

He pulled himself to his feet, and then leaned over to kiss her. The kiss was sweet and soft and conveyed his longing and his happiness much more easily than any words ever could have.

"Thank you, Kathryn. Thank you for telling me. I love you, and our daughter can have any color eyes you want!"

She laughed. "Go get some sleep, Commander. Just promise me you'll be here in the morning."

"Always, Kathryn. Always."

"Oh, and Chakotay?"

"Hmm?"

"Sweet dreams."

"They are. I'll share them with you. Tomorrow," he said with a soft laugh, kissing her hand and watching contentedly as she drifted off to sleep. "Tomorrow," he whispered again.


End file.
